CHAK ACHAKA.

One of the things that I’m always praying for is strength to start on things that I’d want to work on.
We set goals and intentions on every other single day. However, the goals set can be actualised when we start working on them, and run the entire course until they are achieved. In most times, the biggest problem is postponing on when to start working on them.

There is always a joke about how people set a goal to hit the gym in the beginning of the year. It could be to help them get fit, help them shed some weight or acquire that smashing body. Very few people achieve their goals with their consistency in hitting the gym while the rest of them remain the same or even add more weight and get out of shape as they keep postponing on when to start working out.

I am a hoarder and I have my diaries/ notebooks from 2013 while I was in  high school. As I went through it in 2021, I found a place that I had written some goals and one of the goals was to work in the media industry before turning 25 years . I was even surprised on how specific my goals were then.

In March 2021, a certain CEO with a startup media company reached out to me. He wanted me to help with their social media management and I accepted the offer because it would definitely be a fulfilment of a goal I had set 8 years ago. At 16, I envisioned myself as a presenter someday but this opportunity had come with a different package. But hey, I’d still get to work in a media company. Or maybe, the opportunity would be a stepping ground to getting what I wanted .  And with no media background, I started on the job and was pretty good at it.

All I needed was to get into the media place and everything else would fall into place. A month later after starting the internship, an opportunity presented itself in the office for me to try out presenting. Turning it down would have been stupid and so I took it up and learnt while on it. And this I also did so well at.

This internship granted me a door to several other opportunities and interest that I would have wanted to pursue within the field. All this was only possible because I embarked on the first step.

A story is also told of Professor Okinyi Nyawade who got his admission letter and fees structure to pursue a PhD in Moi University but he thought it to be almost impossible as the school fees totalled to shs. 850, 000. He met the father, showed him the fees structure but told him there was a problem because he didn’t have the school fees. The father living told him, “NYATHINA CHAK ACHAKA ” meaning JUST BEGIN, MY SON. The father withdrew shs. 14, 000  from his account that only had shs. 20, 000. Professor Okinyi had some shs. 16, 000 that he’d saved himself and he began his PhD. Journey by paying the shs. 30, 000 as his school fees.

Years down the line and he was unable to defend his thesis as he had a shs. 300, 000 balance. In a miraculous way, a person he’d helped severally asked him for a meeting and handed him shs. 200, 000 as a token of appreciation. Prof Okinyi acquired his PhD and he credits it to the father’s words “CHAK ACHAKA “.

The toughest thing to do is to begin. Sometimes we are too scared to fail or our dreams/ goals seem to big for us. Just begin and everything else will fall into place. Do not give up before trying. May this be your slogan this week in everything. “CHAK ACHAKA “

LIVING POSITIVELY+

She had been sick for several months. I would see her for a few days, and for the rest of the days of the month, she would be admitted in hospital. I always waited for her to be back home because they never allowed me to see her while in hospital as I was quite young and they thought it would affect me psychologically. So everytime, we visited the hospital, her best friend Martha would leave me watching TV at the waiting bay as she went to the ward. I never minded though because I knew that on one fine evening, I’d get back home from school and I would find her basking in the evening sun and she would hug me tightly. Oh, how I loved her hugs. They were so warm. For some minutes, they made me feel like the troubles of this world didn’t exist.

They said she had a growth in her tummy. They also said she had pneumonia. Others thought she had been bewitched by her jealous relatives from the highlands. Everyone seemed to have a speculation of what was ailing her. As some openly talked about her illness, a majority of the people whispered it behind her back in hushed tones. And you see, she heard what people said but she never clarified it whatsoever.

Everytime she came home from hospital, she had loads of tablets to swallow and she hated them. The sight of the medication made her throw up and she hated everyone who tried forcing her to take them. And most times, she completely avoided taking the medication and after a few days she’d be back to the hospital ward. Seems like she liked the plain white walls of the ward and the smell of medicine that hangs in the air in hospitals. The hospital seemed to work the magic in her as she always came back home energetic and in better shape only for her to repeat the cycle and get admitted.

A lot went through her mind. For one moment, she hoped she would be healed, the sickness would be one bad dream and she would raise her three beautiful children that she was left with after her husband had passed on two years earlier. And in other times, she wished she died in her sleep and the shake she carried with her would be dropped down. So every single day, she was caught in between thoughts and it made her more indecisive.

However, I think she really wanted to heal. She sought out every option possible for her healing. On one weekend, she made me accompany her to the Neno Evangelistic Church for prayers from Pastor Ng’ang’a but it never changed her state. On several Fridays, we travelled with her and my siblings to Kitui to seek treatment from a famous witchdoctor that she’d been referred to by her friends. And on other times, she faithfully adhered to the doctor’s prescription at the hospital. And for most times, she was always on her knees praying and pleading with God to heal her.

She knew what ailed her. She knew the treatment options that she had, because she was learned. She wanted to heal but her guilt consumed her. She has caused her husband’s death, so she said. She had brought death upon her family, she claimed. She had been terrible wife and mother, she thought. She was a disgrace, it was imprinted in her mind. Any knowledgeable adult knew her life was dependent on the medication and any slip from it, would have her dead in a few days, weeks, months or possibly years. They all said terrible things about her. They’d smile and visit her with fruits in their bags to ‘help her boost her immunity’ but they’d kill her with their words as soon as they stepped out the door.

In the end, she chose death. She welcomed it with open arms. She stopped taking her medication, after all nobody ever healed from HIV/AIDS. And again, a majority of the people knew about her condition and they never treated her the same way. They had become extra careful with her and some completely sidelined her. They said mean things about her. They called her promiscuous. They said she was cursed.

Few weeks to her death, she bid us goodbye as she left for hospital as she had decided to get better for her children. But the damage had been done, her viral load was quite high and her immunity’ highly compromised. She could not be saved and it only took pneumonia attack on her and she was no more.

And I sit here today thinking, what if she had accepted her status? What if she had stuck on taking her medication all through? What if she never felt stigmatized? What if it had prevented? What if there was a cure? It sure would have been different.

I write this today in memory of all the souls in our memories that succumbed to HIV/AIDS. I write it in memory of all dreams that were never actualised because of the disease. I write it for the children who grew as orphans or with single parents due to this pandemic. I write it in solidarity with all who are living positively despite of all the challenges they may face living with this disease. I’m also writing this as a reminder to us all that anybody can be infected and we are all affected by the disease. It is a reminder for us to be more kind and loving to the infected people.

I write this to encourage the infected that it’s not the end of the world and it’s not possibly the worst thing that could happen in your life. Death is the only worst thing that could ever exist. Your life still matters, your voice should still be heard and you need to keep living your truth and live positively. There is more to life than the disease.

They say prevention is better than cure. Get tested, make sure your sexual partners are tested. Do not share personal items. Take utmost care when handling other people’s injuries and anything blood related.

Stigmatising patients because of their status is hateful and hate is too much of a burden to carry. Be loving.

GHOSTED

Love is a beautiful thing but love can also be messy.

Love can drag you from sanity to insanity.

You will create memories with your favourite person and make plans about the future while it lasts only for you to pray that you get amnesia and forget everything.

And on one bright morning, you’ll text the love of your life but he won’t reply.

You’ll call him but he will not pick.

You’ll assume he’s held up and he’ll get back to you later, when he gets time.

But he never will.

Not in that day, or that month. He never will.

For the next few months, you’ll send messages, write emails, make calls but he will not respond to any of them.

You will visit him….and alas….life must go on.

He decided he wanted nothing to do with you and he GHOSTED you 🤐.

You’ll be left with unanswered questions and you might even blame yourself for loving him as you did because the ghosting hurts terribly.

It almost feels like your heart has been ripped apart.

You’ll choose to stay away from love because you can’t fathom the idea of being ghosted again…like no explanation, no questions, just nothing.

But you gotta pick yourself up.

Ghosting is inhuman.

It hurts more than words would but Jo South will never understand 😜, he will still ghost another bunch of girls.

Have you been ghosted before? How did it feel?

Dating Etiquette.

Nairobi girls go on dates for various reasons. Some go to genuinely know the person better, others go to pass time and a notorious majority go for free food . Nairobians love food and it evens get better if it is good food and it is free . I’ve heard several people say they went on a date to have an experience of a particular hotel but they were not really interested in the person they went on the date with . As sad as it is, we go on dates with different agenda.

A few weeks ago, I went on a date at Big Square, Garden City with a friend. Honestly, I love Big Square’s ribs, they are tantalising. And because I know end month iko karibu and your small monies can’t build you a house, take yourself on a date at Big Square and try out their ribs . Do not let kibandaski be your portion this end month .

It was on a Tuesday evening, kedo 6 pm and the place was almost full. Seemingly that is the only convenient meeting time for the nation builders. As I sipped my vannila milkshake while chatting, a certain gent and a lady walked in. The guy was casually dressed in a black t-shirt, blue jeans and black black converse shoes. He was carrying the lady’s handbag in one hand . Such a gentleman that one! And he might be the only one remaining in Sub-Sahara . The lady on the other hand was fair in skin, the minji minji type with the forehead trademark . And is it just me or girls with big foreheads are so pretty I think it should be made a beauty standard . She was a pretty one, dressed in a golf shimmery dress, with black heels and a blank trench coat. She looked classy.

They say on a table across ours. And just a few minutes after they had settled, her phone rang and she walked out to pick the call. She came back after about 15 minutes. The man he was with remained glued on his phone all this while. He had ordered their drinks and the lady came back in time to feast. After some other 5 minutes, she walked out again and by the time she was back, their ordered food was on the table. She sat down to eat. They are in silence and she was on her phone the entire time while eating. The gentleman kept glancing at other tables and I honestly think he was disappointed. After they were done eating, she walked to the sink and came back after five minutes, only for them to pick the handbag and leave . That was one awkward date . I tried putting myself into the guys shoes and mahn, I just think that was one terrible date he had .

I honestly think some of us lack basic dating etiquette and it will be my pleasure to enlighten you on what I work with and I think is important.

After you’ve invited someone on a date, planned it and their due date is nigh, please try and adhere to this;

1. Be on time.

Most of us are African timers and when a date is supposed to be at 2, you end up showing up at 4 with no logical excuse.

Try as much as possible to be on time and if you think you’ll be late or can’t make it, make sure that you communicate on time.

2. Put your phone away.

Take the instance of this lady who was on call almost the entire time, it kills the essence of the date which is getting to know each other.

It is rude to keep texting or being on a call while in any meeting, either a basic date or a serious business meeting.

Unless it is an emergency, avoid the phone altogether.

3. Look nice.

If it is a first date, first impression matters . Either way, make an effort to look good.

I ever went on a first date with someone and seeing on how he was dressed from a distance, I just went back home . It was the best thing to do, but I just couldn’t .

Dress well and for the occasion . Is that too much to ask for? Definitely not .

4. Listen.

You’ll converse during the date, be a good listener. Ask questions and pay attention to their responses .

Don’t keep cutting the other person short and make the conversation entirely about you. Me, myself and I has never been an interesting topic, so stay away from it.

And the people who love bragging, mara “you know my family ” sijui “our car, our house”…all that is unnecessary and it is a turn off. Keep it to yourself.

Again, on communication, be very smart on the discussion topics. Most people who talk about religion and politics on their date, it never ends well. Avoid topics that would brush one of you the wrong way.

Be open minded as you talk and listen. We are different human beings with different perspectives on certain things.

5. Basic table manners.

You know the rules, do not talk with food in your mouth, Che properly, no use of phones as you eat etc….

And also, please order food you are familiar with . If not ask for recommendations from the waiter serving you

We’ve all heard cases of people who order strange foods only for them to be unable to eat the food.

All that said and done, remember basic dating etiquette is a must.

As you go on dates this weekend, try and practice some of this.

What other dating etiquette would you add to this? Is there something one has ever done while you were on a date and it felt so right or so wrong to you?

Feel free to share your feedback

Avoid being Blocked

I’m a good person generally, except when I receive a nonsensical phone call very early in the morning. By very early in the morning I mean anytime before 8 o’clock. On this particular case, I would curse you unapologetically. Any call before official working hours should be an emergency, if not, a simple text would do. And if one must do a call, kindly do it past 8 o’clock.

“Hello, hey Lilian”.
“I’m good, you?”
“Kwani you’re still asleep? You don’t go to work ama school? What do you do hata?”

It is 6:17 am on a Monday morning and my phone rings. I’m on a break from work and I don’t need to be up early but the call disturbs my peace. I ignore it for the first time, but the guy calls again. I check the phone and it’s a new number so I decide not to pick it. He calls again, and on another thought, it could be someone needing something urgently. I pick up the phone.

At this point, I’m shocked at how some Kenyan boys lack etiquette. First of all, the guy hadn’t introduced himself and who on earth asks such questions in the morning. These Kenyan boyfriends aki. On one thought I want to hang up the phone on him but my mother raised me right. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

“Who am I speaking to?” I don’t feel the need to be courteous enough and use please.
“It’s Cyrus, we met yesterday.”
“Ooh, good to know. I’ll save your number. Ulikuwa unatakaje?”
“I was just saying hi. Ni salamu tu aki.”

Someone calling to check up on you is a good thing but this particular person just made me annoyed.

“Umepiga kunisalimia 6 in the morning? It couldn’t wait honestly?”
“Ni kama you’re in a bad mood. Hii ni kisirani. I’ll call you later. Have a good day.”

But how on earth am I supposed to have a good day yet it’s already ruined. The worst part of this phone call was the reason he gave for calling and the audacity he had to say niko na kisirani. Who raised up some people? Who taught Cyrus etiquette? We’ll call this guy Cyrus, which is actually his real name. We had met with Cyrus in a function on the previous day and I gave him my number. He never called me on that Sunday evening, which is alright because maybe he didn’t want to ‘look so desperate.’ That right there was a smart move but calling me at 6am on a Monday morning that should have been a direct ticket to getting diarrhea for two days so that he’d know there is a time for everything.

Since I’m a good lady, I did not block him as I would on normal days when people annoy me. I think I was giving him a chance to redeem himself. I kept the conversation going via WhatsApp and he vowed he’d call again. That week at 5:08pm on Tuesday I got a call from our man Cyrus.

“Hey Lilian, how have you been?”
“Good. I hope you had a fantastic day.”
“I did. What are your plans for the weekend? Utakuwa wapi?”
“I’m a little bit held up, on Saturday I’ll be at K.U and on Sunday I got errands to run.”
“I will join you on Saturday, It would be a good thing to spend the day with you.”

Yaani, this guy just decided to invite himself. He wasn’t even requesting, he just made a declaration that apparently I was supposed to agree to. Some of us like our spaces and spending an entire day with a stranger could be our worst nightmare. Kwanza if he turns out to be the most uninteresting person you’ve ever met. And why would I torture myself for an entire day trying to entertain someone. That aside, let me ask, at what point did we stop inviting people for proper dates and instead chose this kind of mediocrity?

“I would prefer if you don’t join me. We can always plan to meet at some other time.”
“Kwani, are you ashamed of me? Hutaki watu wanione na wewe?”

In my head I was wondering if this guy actually had a mental problem. We had just met once and he wants us to start walking all around the city holding hands and maybe wearing matching outfits. Another level of craziness I had not experienced before. Alafu, it seemed like he wanted to guilt trip me. Sasa, who was supposed to start consoling a grown man and building his confidence, which he clearly lacked.

“Plan a proper meeting. It will work.”
“Haiya, things are getting out of hand wherever I am. Let me call you later. What time should I call you?”
“Anytime before 9 pm.”
“Why shouldn’t I call past 9? Are you married?”

I immediately regretted not blocking him the Monday morning that he first called me. He deserved to be blocked for eternity. I found his questions to be rude and personal moreso for a stranger. If I ask to be called before 9, simply do that. If you cannot, don’t as rude questions. You’d rather ask for another convenient time that you’d call.

The last two questions, just marked the end of our friendship even before it began. I do not deserve such friends.

A little etiquette goes a long way. Phone etiquette is important. Do not call people anytime before 8 in the morning and past 9 in the evening unless it is an emergency or you guys are really close. Respect people’s privacy and boundaries. Sometimes, I feel like you should first text and ask if they are okay with you calling them at that particular time. A phone call should not be another mini interview and STOP ASKING PERSONAL QUESTIONS.

The weekend is approaching and you’ll get a number or several. It would be a friendship, relationship or partnership starting off. Let it start in the right note by ensuring that you practice phone etiquette. Do not be like Cyrus.

Cyrus lacks phone etiquette.
Cyrus calls at inappropriate times.
Cyrus is rude and asks personal questions.
Cyrus lost a friend even before they became friends.
Do not be like Cyrus.

Do better. Avoid being blocked.

EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE.

“Madam, nilipe fare yetu wote ama utanilipia?”

“Naweza lipa fare yangu but if you wanna pay, mi sina shida.”

I just set myself up on a trap on Monday afternoon as I was leaving town going home. It happens that I am not reporting to work this week but I had errands to run on Monday morning. I got up really early and headed to town where we meet to meet with Tina and head to Maxwell SDA Church for a song audio recording. We are working as the Nairobi Advent Ensemble on a musical project to help raise 1.2 Million for 200 Cancer patients in low settlement areas to help them access NHIF. We were finishing the recording that Monday morning as we wait for the concert.

My day was a little bit off. You know those days that you wake up and you’ve got no psyche and everything seems to be annoying you. I think I would hit someone chewing loudly besides me on such a day. Actually, loud chewing is one thing that would end our friendship instantly. But that aside, the guy seated beside me in the matatu decided to piss me off in a different way. Is it just me or do you also find people being too loud in the morning uncouth? Personally, I don’t even understand why people talk in the morning. Anytime before ten o’clock is just too early for anyone to be talking. But this particular guy was on a phone call from Allsops till we got to Globe Cinema in town. Being on call isn’t an issue but the moment all passengers in the matatu keep turning towards your side, I think it should be basic common sense that you either end the call or lower your voice. Alafu the worst part about it, he was talking about how the weekend was lit and they teremshad mizinga kadhaa. You know those baseless conversations one could be having on a Monday morning and people are busy trying to get to work so you just sound out of place. I’m lucky though I had earphones (never misses in my bag) and they came through in a big way.

 I got to town and you Nairobians with time, I had to wait for Tina for some 20 minutes hapo Kencom. Do you know how idle I was looking and yet it is on a working day. But anyway, we got to Maxwell and did what we had to do and left at around 1:30. I was super exhausted and all I wanted was to get home, eat and sleep. This ghetto girl boarded the 29/30 matatu at around two o’clock. One thing about me, I never really bother to see who’s seated beside me when I board a a  matatu. Apparently, some guy was seated beside me and as the konda was collecting the bus fare, he offers to pay my fare. On another thought, he asks if I can pay “our” fare. First, I was hungry. A hungry Lilian is an angry Lilian. His statement actually pissed me off and I opted to be rude, so I was like, “I can afford to pay my own fare but if you want to pay, its your money, feel free.” And he actually did pay.

I’m not a lover of small talk. Small talk gets to my nerves very fast. As we approached Muthaiga, this guy decided that small talk is the in thing.

“Madam unakaa umechoka”

“It has been a long day.”

“Ulikuwa umeenda hustle?”

“Eeh, ndio kurudi mtaa”

“Hiyo ni poa”

After this, he resumed to being silent but he was really fidgeting with the phones on his hands. So, he had two phones, a Tecno Camon and an iPhone. And there is just something about people with iPhones, they never get to stay in the pocket. They are always on the hand just as car keys especially when in public. I don’t know but I feel like, this guy was trying to show off and maybe he thought the iPhone would give him a higher ground. But you see that doesn’t work for me. We were silent for a while until we got to Survey and he got into it again.

“Ulisema unaishi wapi?”

I remained silent. Awkwardly. In my head I’m thinking, we didn’t have this conversation. Stop acting like we did.

“Ninaishi Allsops hapo GSU.”

“Hiyo ni poa”

He dials the keypad on his iPhone and stretches it towards my phone.

I ignore the gesture.

“Niwekee number yako hapa”

“Ya nini?”

“Tukuwe tukiongea.”

“Zii”

I turn and keep looking outside the window. He gets to Allsops and alights. But in my head, I have thoughts running. Who on earth said that cheap talk is cool? There is nothing in this world more annoying in this world than cheap talk especially among strangers. And in my case, I was really tired and would appreciate pin drop silence till I got home. So the moment you start talking to me, you become a nuisance. On the other hand, some of us were taught to be polite so I will just respond out of politeness.  But it is really unnecessary to engage strangers in non sensical conversations. Thank you.

Come to think of it, maybe this guy thought paying my fare gave him a right to keep me engaged in a conversation and an automatic access to getting my number. And looking at past experiences and stories that I’ve heard, guys don’t do things for free but feel free to challenge this mentality. It really didn’t occur to me because I would have paid my fare and avoided all that. But lemme ask, when did it become a norm to be kind and expect something back? Methinks, if you are being kind, it should be from the heart with no expectations. Kwanza, the slogan should be, “Tenda wema, nenda zako” This thing of guys being kind in order to get something should just end. But the thumb rule to ladies remains, THERE ARE NO FREE THINGS, EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE. Pay your fare, pay your bills.

Unapologetic

She is fire, bringing warmth to your soul
She is ice, numbing every part of you
She is rain, she is sunshine
And it would be beautiful
If she was a rainbow
But she lost the balance to define herself
And unapologetically she lives.

When are you getting married?

” When are you getting married?” and “kwani ulisema wewe utazeekea kwenu?” These are the kind of annoying questions ladies get once they cross the 25 year mark but for the unlucky ones they start as early as at 23 especially if you the remaining unmarried lady in your circle. Funny thing is people don’t ask you this out of concern but to demean you. Personally I think ni umbea. I really don’t understand why someone would be concerned with someone’s personal life?

Recently, while having a conversation with a group of friends, one noted that she has been avoiding all sorts of social gatherings in the past year due to these inquisitions. I will call her Jamilla. Jamilla is a perfect definition of beauty with brains . She is one of the few ladies I know who have their lives figured out career wise, being a pharmacist in some big organization making a very decent living. Her achievements are something any person would want to have in their books but the pathetic pathetic she happens to be knowing don’t recognize anything of the sort. All they have in their heads are all in the marriage and family lane. They actually say that as long as she has not had a family of her own, all her achievements are nothing. And this reminds me of something my aunt told me last year. Our African aunts might make you skip every family gathering with their comments and questions. She said, “Hii masomo yako ni bure kama hautaolewa.”

My issue with all these questions and statements made to unmarried ladies is how the society has made marriage to be the greatest achievement for every woman hence disregarding any other achievements they have. I believe marriage is a good thing when it is with the right person, at the right time and with the right agenda. It is in no way an essential life achievement, though it was a while back in the twentieth century when girls were being raised basically for marriage. But this doesn’t happen anymore. Parents are raising their daughters to be an all-round human being excelling in education, bagging that big job, running their own businesses and being family people. So it is just not right when we choose to focus on marriage and ignore all other things.

As for Jamilla, she was engaged early last year and was set to wed in September, the same year. Unfortunately, Brian, the groom to be, broke off the engagement in July saying he felt he wasn’t ready for marriage yet. His reason could be valid and it is acceptable sometimes we all do chicken out in the last minute and it is okay. For a while, Jamilla was hurt by the break up and the situation is always made worse by people who keep asking her why she is not married. I remember at a certain time after our church service, a certain woman came up to her and being the typical mama wa kanisa, she asked, ” Jamilla, huoni miaka zako zinasonga? Unaacha hadi watoto tumeona juzi wanaolewa ukiwa tu hapa? Jaribu kujipanga upate bwana.”

God makes things happen at His own time. Some of us choose to wait for His go ahead and don’t try to make things work on our own. It is mindful if we respect other people’s stands on their lives timeline. Let’s stop with these societal timelines that we’ve put of : one has to graduate at 23, bag a job at 24, get married at 25, start getting kids at 27 and at 30 you should be running a business. Life is not a perfect cycle and we all have different scripts. I could graduate at 21, get married at 28 and that job comes at 30. And a reminder, YOU ARE NOT GOD my friend, you can’t plan someone’s life. You are a mere human being whose existence is solely dependent on God and hence your power on life is limited. That being said, darling don’t bow down to society’s pressure and rush into marriage when you are still not ready or with the wrong person. And if you ain’t cut for marriage, avoid it. Take your time and do you. At God’s perfect timing all things will happen, whether at 22 or at 34. Be still and lay everything on God’s hands.

Lost Fight

The unsettling battle rages on
But she lacks the strength to fight on. Her mind is determined but her heart betrays every single bit of it.                       Maybe because it has battled enough times and still loses each fight          There is no chance of her winning this
She smiles as she fully immerses herself into the water
Maybe she will find the peace she so desires in the depth of the waters

GREY

Her smile could set the world on fire        And so would her tears put it out.

Her laughter could revive you to life        Just as her sadness could take your breath away.

She is fire bringing warmth to your soul                                                                   But the ice in her heart will chill you to death

And it would be beautiful if she was a rainbow                                                           But the thunder in her won’t let her.

Her soul stays grey                                      The storm in her keeps raging!!!!